My True Self & My Ideal Self

“Man is his own star; and the soul that can render an honest and a perfect man commands all light, all influence, all fate.” This excerpt from “Honest Man’s Fortune” supports Emerson’s essay on self-reliance and the idea that in order for one to be self-reliant, he must get in touch and understand his true and ideal self.

Such profound words inspire me to question what is my ideal self? What are the best qualities and what vision do I want to live up to for my friends, family, my society, and myself.  Some desirable qualities that immediately come to my mind are honesty, love, sincerity, happiness, goal-oriented, caring, pleasant, pride, humbleness, generous, sacrificing, helpful, smart, leadership, wise, talented, physically fit, adventurous, and the list goes on. However, while I find these traits appealing, I am not and will never be all of these; yet I can strive to build on the traits I do possess. 

I feel my most attractive trait is my sincerity and caring nature. I focus on other’s feelings before my own, and am always eager to please. This trait is also my downfall. Sometimes, because I set my focus entirely on someone else, and I forget my own needs. Sacrificing is good, but only to a certain point. However, my friends, family, and society benefit from this trait, as I am most willing to lend a helping hand or share an understanding in their situations. 

I think of myself as a very pleasant person to be around. I try to stay positive and upbeat, and see the best in most situations, looking at the glass half full rather than empty. I am also very loving; my heart goes out to those in need, and I can show affection to most any stranger. I am very warm and friendly. I do take offense when people are cold, rash, and sarcastic towards me, because I rely on other’s cheerful attitudes to keep me happy, something that is completely un-self-reliant, and something my ideal self needs to work on. Lastly, I am extremely goal-orientated and driven. I find a way to succeed in whatever I set my mind too, especially in school and work. I always have a plan, and hate to fail. I feel this trait is also beneficial to society, because I am a hard worker and get the job done. 

Despite these attractive traits I see in myself, my ideal self would possess many more, especially traits that emphasize self-reliance because I feel I am not self-reliant. I feel leadership, wisdom, and smartness fall into a category that I am sometimes not. It is very hard for me to think outside the box because I come from a cookie cutter home. I am often the last to give my opinion and shy away from being completely honest, and instead try to please. I am very insecure, and find it hard to take pride in myself and the things I do. I look to others to build my self-esteem but if I cannot, why should others? I would also like my ideal self to be more adventurous and willing to try new things, and feel secure in my own body. I am very set in my ways, which can be a positive reinforcement for self-reliance, but society will never benefit from anyone who isn’t willing to test the waters, so to say. 

After analyzing my true self, I see traits I want to strive to build upon to reach my ideal self. Honestly, after writing this essay I see how truly un-self-reliant I am, and how I need to build that trait. After taking a good look at myself, I realize how eye-opening reading Emerson’s work has been for me as well as writing this essay, and I hope you have also benefit in some form or fashion.